To whom it may concern:

So I have this problem.  I don't know what to say when people ask if I got my tubes tied.  For one thing, I cannot imagine why my reproductive system is anyone else's business.  And secondly, why would anyone even ask that?  It has to be for two reasons.  A, that I have too many children already and I could not possibly afford more.  Three is considered a  lot I guess, but Melodee just informed me that she would like two more sisters and maybe one more brother.  Or it is B, people cannot imagine how I could chance having another baby that is like Mercy.  I can't think of any other options.  We aren't "too old."   It isn't against the law. 

So if it is A.  Its none of your business!  I think that children are a very special gift from God (that even I don't always appreciate and treasure like I should) and they are not a burden or some kind of problem you have to work through.  They are blessings and on loan to us from their Father who loves them.  I trust that God doesn't give us more than we can handle.  So if the number is what is making you ask me, it is not your problem.  If we have to take out loans to take care of our baby that is what we will do.  Having them is much much more important that the big house, the car and money.  Showing them love and raising them to be productive selfless people will be not only a challenge, but a huge blessing!

And if it is B, then that is also very sad for you.  Because I was in this camp before I had Mercy, I realize that it is ignorance that makes people feel this way.  I would think, why would you keep having kids when you had one with down syndrome, you must be crazy. But now that we have our "special" baby, there is no way that would ever stop us from having another baby just because they might turn out like her!  She amazes us everyday.  To say that we wouldnt want another baby like her is to say that there is something wrong with her.  As our child, there is nothing, absolutely nothing wrong with her.  She is my baby.  Sure, there are some phyiscal and probably some mental things we have to work on and work through, but she is a child just like you and me.  And though it is hard, and I wouldnt want to have the stress of this on anyone, I trust that God would provide us with the child He picked for us if we decided to get pregnant again.  Besides, we already have the experience!  I feel like we could take on anything!!! 

Below is some pictures I took of her holding herself up.  She is 2 and a half months old here.  We thought she was going to be just a shell of a baby, if she even lived.  The doctors said she would not be able to do anything.  And she is trying to scoot herself all over the place.  Such a small thing, I know.  But we were really happy to see her do this!  And although it is going to take more time we truly believe she will be able to do all of the things they said she could not.  She is still eating very well.  Especially for her Dad.  She is way more picky when I give her the bottle.  She even almost latched on to my breast for some recreational sucking, because giving her breastmilk from there and not the bottle would make everyone much more happy.  It seems like God is giving us good news every time we take a test or meet with a doctor.  He is the only one with all of the final answers for who she is going to be.  We are going to let Him work it out and just love on our little family.

The baby Doc

When we couldn't find a pediatrician for Mercy I was a little worried.  As you would expect, there were not a lot of doctors who were willing to try to take her on as a patient.  Which was disappointing at first because we thought they really only needed to do physicals and well baby stuff like shots, ect. because she see's so many other specialists.  However, now that we have a great doctor, I see why no one else wanted to do it. 

I loved our doctor from the first time we went to see him.  The day after we got home from the NICU we had an appointment.  We got to go back right away to keep her from the icky other kiddos.  It wasnt a long wait and the nurse's were very sweet and amazed at how tiny she was.  The doctor came in to talk to us and told about the clinic and his background.  He worked in the NICU at a San Diego hospital and we could tell that he was really about patient care.  He and his wife found this place because they were tired of all of the politics that went on at the bigger hospitals.  He told us he had looked into all the info he could find about this syndrome.  And that we were going to expect the best and be prepared for the worst. 

He told us we were going to treat Mercy just like any other little baby until she gave us a reason not to.  He said we could talk about options for what to do if she has a seizure, ect.  But that we not no reason to assume that her life was going to be awful and were going to treat her just like our other kids.  I didnt realize how worried I was about that until I heard him say that.  I thought the doctors would either, not care to look up anything about her, or assume she was just "damaged goods"  So it was such a great day! 

Not only that but he knew most of the other doctors we had to follow up with and suggested other, closer options.  It was very nice because the Children's hospital is an hour away and in our big car, at least 25 dollars in gas.  His staff has been amazing at getting us appointments (and cancelling some we did not need.)  He introduced us to the other doctors in the practice in case we needed help on days he was not there.  All in all it was a great experience and if he had his own private practice, I would take my other children to him too.  He helped us realize that we dont need to go to every referral that we get or do every test.  Some stuff can wait and some can't.

He had faith in her and her kidney's ability.  When we left the hospital they had put her on a special formula, but when we explained the situation, he thought it had more to do with the additive they added to my breastmilk than her kidneys failing.  To give high doses of the electrolytes to a kid with itty bitty kidneys was sure to make her numbers go up.  Especially since, the actual kidney tests werent too elevated, just the calcium and potassium.  He made sure with some follow up tests and we were back on track for giving her breastmilk, something that I really wanted to do.

He said that we would be able to remove the NG tube when we were confident that she was ready to have it out!  The Home supply company reprimanded for not getting more for her.  They said that I should have a doctor check her out before I did anything.  It was nice that someone had some confidence in her and us as her parents.  :)  All in all we are so pleased with the doctor that we have found, and we wish that ALL doctors had his sense of patient care (even those who are administrators!)  Of course we needed a special doc for a very special baby!